So Many Narcissists

Flowers

Yesterday I went to the House of Yu Gi Bang. As you can see in the picture, it is famous for daffodils. The scientific name of daffodils is narcissus. The exact origin of the name is unknown. It may have been derived from the Greek word, narke, meaning numb or intoxicated. Narcotic and narcolepsy also are derived from narke. Some people believe that it’s called narcissus because the scent is powerful while other people believe it has something to do with being poisonous. Don’t eat daffodils.

 

A Greek Character

Alternatively, daffodils might have been named after Narcissus, the ancient Greek character. There are two versions of the story. One was written by Conon the Greek and the other by Ovid, a Roman poet. Ovid’s story is more popular.

According to Ovid’s story, Cephissus (a river god) and Liriope (nymph) had a son called Narcissus. Narcissus was very handsome. They asked a prophet, Teiresias, what to do. Teiresias said that Narcissus would grow old if he never saw his own reflection. The parents did their best to keep him away from mirrors and shiny surfaces. When he was sixteen, a nymph named Echo fell in love with Narcissus and followed him. However, she could only repeat after other people. So, when Narcissus asked, “Who’s there?” she responded with, “who’s there?” This is where we get the English word, echo.

Echo decided to show herself to Narcissus, but he rejected her. As a result, she was heartbroken. She started withering away, hidden in the forest, until only the sound of Echo’s voice was left repeating what others yelled.

The Goddess of Revenge, Nemesis, hear this story and decided to punish Narcissus. She led him to a pond where he saw his reflection for the first time. He fell in love with his own reflection, which led to his death. Some say he wouldn’t leave his reflection and eventually withered away. Some say that he was so upset that he couldn’t be with his reflection that he committed suicide. Others say that eventually fell into the water and drowned. In some stories, Narcissus was turned into a flower (daffodil) after he died.

 

Personality Disorder

A narcissist is a person affected by narcissistic personality disorder. The main symptom of this disorder is being obsessed with yourself. A narcissist thinks they are more important than other people and usually lacks empathy for others. This disorder was named after Narcissus. Narcissists are difficult to be around. So, being narcissistic is considered a bad personality trait. Recently, however, the view of narcissism is changing. People realize that it is a disorder, a medical condition, so it is not their fault that they are like that. We should be more sympathetic to them. I have an old person personality that says we shouldn’t encourage that type of behavior. We can acknowledge and treat the condition, but it does not excuse the person’s actions. What do you think? Am I right, or should we be more sympathetic to people with this condition? People with narcissistic personality disorder have difficulties establishing relationships, have problems at work and school, feel anxious, get depression, have a drug addiction, have an alcohol addiction, and may have suicidal thoughts or behavior.

 

The Joke Explained

Today’s joke is a play on words. I said there are many narcissists in one picture, so someone might assume I am talking about the people taking pictures of themselves. However, I was referencing the narcissuses, the daffodils. This pun works a little better when you hear it rather than reading it.

Nine Signs

There are nine signs and symptoms of narcissism including:

Grandiosity – feeling like they’re more important or better than other people.

Excessive Need for Admiration – They want to be the center of attention and to be praised.

Superficial and exploitative relationships – It is difficult to show love because they don’t have those feelings. They often have relationships with people they can use.

Lack of Empathy – They just don’t have the feelings that most humans have, so it is difficult to relate to the feelings of others.

Identity Disturbance – They focus on outward things like clothing and wealth. They are easily offended and can get depressed if someone challenges their identity. I have also heard that the scariest thing for a narcissist is for other people to figure them out.

Difficulty with Attachment and Dependency – Since relationships are superficial and they lack normal emotions, it is difficult to have relationships. They avoid intimacy.

Chronic Feelings of Emptiness and Boredom – They feel empty if they don’t get the admiration they desire.

Vulnerability to Life Transitions – They don’t like change or making compromises. Young adults have trouble transitioning to adult life.

High Risk Factor for Suicide – It is common for people affected by this disorder.

 

The Narcissist Checklist

Most people have some of the traits of a narcissist. If you have ever wondered if you have narcissism, see how you score on this checklist by Les Carter:

1. Public self and private self do not match
2. Loyalty toward you is superficial at best
3. They cannot admit mistakes at all
4. Lots of unsolicited advice
5. Introspective thinking is virtually non-existent
6. They make many comments to remind you of your obligations toward them
7. They will “other” people who do not fit their mold
8. Idealized fantasies are routinely pursued
9. They are attracted toward people, themes and activities implying power
10. Emotional vulnerability is awkward
11. Willingness to lie or leave out important facts
12. The use of veiled threats
13. Extremes in managing money
14. Responds to confrontation with irrational anger
15. Being persistently dismissive of other’s feelings
16. Stealing affirmation from others
17. Chronic undertow of frustration and annoyance
18. Many double standards
19. A very poor comprehension of love
20. No real appreciation for your boundaries.

 

 

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Resources:

https://www.nybg.org/blogs/plant-talk/2017/04/around-the-garden/whats-in-a-plant-name-narcissus-daffodils-and-jonquils.
https://laidbackgardener.blog/2016/09/18/how-the-narcissus-got-its-name/
https://www.greekmyths-greekmythology.com/narcissus-myth-echo/
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
https://www.emedicinehealth.com/what_are_the_nine_traits_of_a_narcissist/article_em.htm
https://survivingnarcissism.tv/the-narcissist-checklist/