Enabler

Enabler

Kickboards and Practical Jokes

I love a good practical joke, even if I have to pay a little for it. Yesterday, a kickboard came up for sale locally. It was cheap, but I don’t really have a need for a kickboard. But one of my coworkers has a kickboard that he uses to move around the hallways. He is also a practical joker, so I thought I could play a joke on him. I wanted to buy the kickboard and replace his with the new one and see if he notices. I asked another coworker if it is really worth me buying it or not. She said I should. Actually, she is always encouraging me to buy weird stuff. Maybe there is a subconscious reason why I asked her. I realized that she is an enabler. She encourages me to spend too much money.

I bought the kickboard anyways and replaced my coworker’s kickboard with this new one. He didn’t notice for most of the morning until a third coworker came into the office asking what happened to his scooter. She also likes to borrow the kickboard to get around. I ended up giving her the kickboard as a gift. So, was it worth it to buy the kickboard after all? I guess so. The joke didn’t really pay off, but it made someone happy.

Meaning

An enabler is someone that encourages bad behavior. It comes from the word, enable, which means to make it possible. We often add an -er or -or to the end of a verb to make it a job (teach -> teacher). The -er can also refer to someone who does the verb. We call this an agent noun. This is a good trick to know as new words are created using this technique quite frequently. If you don’t know what to call someone who is walking up stairs, try calling them a stair-walker. Someone who talks softly is a soft-talker.

Example: You shouldn’t buy alcohol for him. He is an alcoholic and you are an enabler.

The word enabler dates to the 1610s while enable dates to the early 15th century.

I suppose it is possible to be an enabler for good behavior, but this term never gets used that way. It is often used in regards to alcohol, drugs, and tobacco. The enabler makes it possible for the person to continue self-harming behavior. In my example, I was joking about my coworker being an enabler but encouraging bad behavior is a serious issue.

Are You an Enabler?

SOS Safety Magazine identifies 14 characteristics of an enabler:

  1. Avoid conflict to keep the peace.
  2. In denial about the addiction
  3. Don’t show emotion
  4. Believe the problem will go away in time.
  5. Lecture, blame, and criticize the addict
  6. Assume the responsibilities of the addict
  7. Will continue to rescue the addict from bad situations
  8. Protect the addict from pain
  9. Treat the addict like a child
  10. Financially support the addict
  11. Make the addict dependent on them and try to control them
  12. Endure the bad times believing the behavior will improve
  13. Always give “just one more chance”
  14. Sometimes join in the bad behavior
Stop Being an Enabler

Are you an enabler? The Addiction Center suggests seven things you can do to stop being an enabler.

  1. Don’t ignore the strange behavior. If someone is acting oddly, find out if there is a deeper problem.
  2. Don’t resent the person for their behavior. They are not themselves while they are under the influence.
  3. Don’t blame other people and situations. Basically, you shouldn’t make excuses for the addicted person.
  4. Don’t lie for them. Even if it is uncomfortable to tell other people the truth, the addicted person won’t get help if you keep lying for them.
  5. Tell the addict what is on your mind. You have to be able to express your emotions and let the addict know how their behavior affects you.
  6. Don’t prioritize someone else’s needs over your own. You won’t gain anything by giving them money for drugs. You need to care about yourself.

I was not expecting this article to take such a dark turn. With these posts, I research as I go and sometimes it takes me in a direction that I was not expecting. Today was one of those days. Take care of yourself, ok? I’ll be your good behavior enabler.

See Also: The definition of insanity, Impulse buyer, Break the habit

 

For more English phrases and quotes, follow me on Facebook:
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Reference:

https://www.etymonline.com/word/enabler#:~:text=early%2015c.%2C%20%22to%20make,person%20to%20take%20certain%20action.
https://sossafetymagazine.com/drugs-alcohol/14-characteristics-enabler/
https://www.addictioncenter.com/treatment/stage-intervention/what-is-an-enabler/

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