Bald as a Coot

Inspiration

I’m as bald as a coot. I recently came across this phrase while researching for a lesson I am developing. It is based on an image created by Ella Baron. There are 27 idioms illustrated in the image. I didn’t get all of them. Some were obvious after I saw the answers but there were a couple I had not heard before. Bald as a coot is an example of that.

This week’s cartoon by Ella Baron: ‘A Figure of Speech’. How many can you find? pic.twitter.com/Zum96tk7S8

— The TLS (@TheTLS) February 28, 2019

I'm Hairless!

I have been bald for a long time. I think my hair started disappearing as a teenager. I started shaving my head in university. I was never that embarrassed about it. I find a shaved head to be more comfortable anyways. However, it is funny how some people react to my baldness. Bald people are less common in Korea. When I taught elementary school, the kids wanted to touch my head. They would poke me and then run away giggling. As long as they asked, I didn’t have an issue. Sometimes I had to wash my head afterwards. How do kids get so dirty?

Another interesting reaction is from a coworker. We love to make jokes and tease each other. I make fun of him for being tall, for example. The one day I asked why he doesn’t tease me about being bald. I joke about being bald all the time. It’s in my introduction lesson! His face became serious and he said that he wouldn’t tease me about that. I told him that I don’t care and he reiterated that he wouldn’t make fun of me for that. I am not sure why he feels that way. From my perspective, I don’t have any control over having hair (genetics) so it’s not a part of my personality. When using sarcasm, you should only attack things that the other person is not sensitive about. I'm clearly not sensitive about having no hair.

Meaning

Bald as a coot is a simile about having no hair. It means that the person does not have any hair on their head. It can be used as an intensifier to draw attention to the fact that the person is bald.

Example: Look at that baby. It’s as bald as a coot!

Origin

A coot is an aquatic bird. It is mostly black and grey with yellow legs, red eyes, and a white beak. The distinguishing characteristic of a common coot is a white patch on its head that makes them appear to be bald. There are other coots around the world with black, red, and yellow patches. The Eurasian coot is an old world coot. Old world refers to Europe, Asia, and Africa. The new world is North and South America. I am not sure where Australia and Antarctica fit in. There is a lot more variety of new world coots, but the coot in question is a new world coot, an Eurasian (or common) coot.

Bald as a coot was originally a British phrase that dates to 1430. It first appears in John Lydgate’s Chronicle of Troy, “And yet he was as balde as is a coot.” Since I have never heard this phrase before, I would say that it is not a common phrase.

Photo by Wolfgang Hasselmann on Unsplash

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Resources:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coot
https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/36300.html